Smartass: Eh. Not feeling better now. Same as yesterday.
Me: I thought you were feeling chipper! Ima shoot the neighbortards btw. Come visit me in jail. Bring a cake.
Smartass: I was last night. Now I feel like ass again. Hmpf.
Me: It's because you gloated. Karma, babe.
Smartass: What're the neighbortards doing now?!
Smartass: If karma were real, many of my enemies would be suffering or dead. Instead, I suffer. Fuck karma.
Me: Chainsaw. 8 am. I went over and sneezed on them. Fuckers. Now they'll die! Die!